Growing A Healthy Marriage

In the month of January my church has been doing a series on "Growing A Healthy Marriage". Today though had a lot of insight. As the pastor gave instances that dealt with his own marriage it made me think the same questions he and his wife ask everyday. Sometimes we get so selfish and forget why we are married to this person. Its not because we choose to be, its because we are following a plan that God has laid out for us. We sometimes start living our life for our marriage when we should be living our life for God and once we do its amazing what he will lift up for us in our marriage. We studied Ephesians Chapter 5 but the Chapter before that 4:29-31 is really something to think about. It says "do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs". Sometimes we get caught up by something our spouse says that has hurt and we just keeping picking at it with our words. Instead we should just on a daily basis say something supportive of our spouse and leave 3 or 4 words a day unsaid. Also we need to live to forgive. We don't always do that and its only human. Whether it be family, a spouse, friend or co-worker we need to forgive, forget and not let anything unwholesome be spoken not matter what kind of pain it may have caused. When Jesus was on the cross he spoke "forgive them for they know not what they do". He was in pain as he spoke these words. He did the all above while on the cross and never asked for anything, not even an apology. We need to be imitators of God and that pulled heavy on my heart today as I want to strive for this.

Step-parenting

For all those people out there that are step-parents I commend you. Its not an easy job, well it wasn't at first. I was in love with this man and I just thought I will deal with him having kids. It goes much deeper than that. It was very stressful at first. I had the ex wife who I didn't get along with at first and I had to learn to share my time with my husband when the kids would come visit. We thought about having a child together but it was going to be way too expensive to have his procedure reversed and adoption was out of the question. Seven years after we got married I had a seizure (something I've had since I was in Jr High) so my doctor put me on meds for the rest of my life. He asked me what my plan for children was. By this point I knew I would never have a child of my own so I told him and he said well its best because I was high risk. So God knew what he was doing when he brought Kevin and those kids into my life. I have a great relationship with them and I'm happy to be their second mom. So many people don't understand my feelings about me not having children and I wish they could be in my shoes. They always say adoption but how's that any different than having step-kids? I love those kids as if they are my own and their mom is a great friend now. So if any of you ever find yourself in a place of becoming a step-parent don't give up and don't give up on the kids.

When people hurt you

Why is it that sometimes you have to be blunt to let people know they've hurt you? I've tried to be subtle and pop off little remarks here and there but they just don't get it. These particular people were so close to us one time and then something changed. I thought that closeness was coming back but I guess not. We've tried several times to hang out with them but I guess we just aren't as fun as other people. The last time we did I did have a good time but once a certain couple left one of the guys went to bed because "he had a headache". He felt good while the other couple was there. That is what I mean by I guess we aren't as fun as others. I don't really have much to say to them anymore and I get the third degree as to why I'm not speaking to them. Its not like I ignore them all together but I just don't have anything in common to talk about. I was around them this weekend and all the conversations were about what they've done together and we are out of the loop so what was I supposed to say???? I would say more but there would be weirdness the next time I was around them and it would get around so then there would be weirdness with everyone.

My first blog

My dear friend Marti has been telling me she is addicted to her blogging site and I really have been meaning to swing by here and read hers and I just so happened to have been on myspace and Nhi had an update on her life with a site to go to. I see she has one as well and happened to have found Marti's at the same time. Then I thought to myself "hmmm...maybe I should do one". So here I am.